What Made You Break: 親愛なる友
by Messed-upSaia
Summary: In which Levi suffers from haunting nightmares from his past when he had forgotten the existence of someone he deeply cared for when he was young. But hey, there are a number women who has eyes for him, one way to distract him from his night terrors, no? A man needs a lady — after all, misery loves company.


**Additional Summary: Sad story but Levi gets a harem party. **

**A/N: There will be an OC and I know most people and fangirls aren't fond of the idea like me, but hey, this ain't an OC x Levi fic so give a chance if you may. The ship will be revealed as you read on.**

**Read and enjoy.**

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><p><em>There wasn't much to see inside a barren house, there was a table and two chairs serving only for the number of occupants. The sunlight was denied to make its way and brighten up the gloom that lived in the house longer than the kids who decided to turn the place into their hide away from the police officials.<em>

_"My freedom for yours, what do you think?" her pale slender fingers gave a twirl to the fruit knife she found on Levi's table and her long bangs and somehow blurred appreance as she produced a chuckle made the dark haired male unable to decipher how her face looked like, but the sound of her voice was still mischievous and sly, which matched her usual underhand tricks on him and other people._

_"Don't be stupid —" Her name clearly muted and forgotten even in his own dreams._

_That's right, this was one of the dreams Levi had been having recently which troubled him each time he woke. Fate just had to make things more complicated to him, "that's the worst shit you ever said," he scoffed at her._

_"I figured you'd say that," she sighed and looked directly towards his gaze, smiling painfully. For some reason he felt torn apart just by seeing how sad her small smile were._

_..._

_"My name is —" she said her name confidently even through the cold and unforgiving chains bound tight around her body. She even managed a smirk to counter his dauntless glare. But then she lowered her head to admit defeat, she knew what the boy in front of her was capable of doing._

_"You think you're so smart, aren't you?" Levi decided not to beat her down, no matter how impudent she was. He looked at her from top to bottom, she had short coal shaded hair, with frizzy long bangs that hid the glisten of her eyes and only show off her unfazed grin, she also had worn a torn up brown shirt and shorts. She almost looked like a boy with her getup but Levi was sharp enough to see through her disguise._

_The girl shackled her chains, "I like to think that I am."_

...

Levi bolted upright the moment the early sunlight had hit his eyes, he never got used to what he had usually seen in his late-night slumber, "The damn nightmares just won't stop," he complained, bringing an arm above his eyes as shade from the early sunrise. The ghost of his old wounds always seemed fresh each time he was shown of some bits of his past, it was just painful.

Lately, the dreams he had gone through got worse. Like a puzzle he couldn't solve, he couldn't progress, but from what? He never knew what his dreams were meant to be and why, of all times visiting him in his sleep. It was emotionally exhausting for him.

The dreams always projected memories of his past to and fro, he was no longer even sure if he was just seeing dreams about his probable encounters with the girl he had dreamed of or just memories.

Sometimes the dreams were vividly clear but most of the time it was clouded that he barely could make out of what was happening in the imageries. He could only remember a few things about her, like how she used to dress herself as a boy for her own safety and how sly she was with her every action. That was it, that was one of the things that frustrated him the most till then, his inability to properly see her in his mind was a frustration. He wished to meet her once more, to properly see her face and talk to her one last time. She was the only person who had been on his side when times grew rougher for him and she never left until he was all patched up, she was like his sister but he never saw like that, she was his equal.

He couldn't even remember what she looked like, — her usual grin he could — he didn't know if she was beautiful even, if she was tall or short like him. And of all things to forget, it was her name that was lost in the depths of his old memories for a long time. He felt terrible for forgetting such important part of her, how could he? She left without a proper goodbye as a dear friend and partner, and when he decided to look for her, he finally found out that she was already _gone_.

She was publicly executed for _their_ crimes. How she was punished, he didn't want to know, he didn't want to think of it, but rumors spread like plague — the loud chuckles and thunderous claps, the joy people felt when her head left her neck, it made him want to rip their smiles off their damned faces. The rich called them criminals, but the poor called them heroes for their deeds.

But no question, _his_ dear friend was gone for good.

Levi knew well himself how twisted the ways of the world can be, but who could blame them? They were only children then, they didn't know much of the difference between right and wrong, they had no one but themselves to guide them. They were like insects getting stepped on and no one would care. Injustice and corruption. It was what made the world reel and what stole his dearest companion.

But time never waited for anyone and so Levi eventually carried on with his life as well, he had to, he had to forget her and leave the past behind so he could progress himself. He focused on how he'll survive the living hell he was in and with that, he swore that he would never let the world crush him like what they did to his friend.

He stayed in the slums like he used to, he mastered thievery, plundering, and all crimes he could get his hands on. And then he eventually met two new companions, the ones he cared for once more but he remembered their name this time, they were just as important as her, and they were much like a family to him.

He firstly met a young man named Farlan in a disputable brawl, he was calm, level-headed, and the one who always placed his trust on Levi without question. Then, a headstrong and cheerful redhead named Isabel who thought of him as a brother of her own.

But people had come and gone right before Levi's eyes, these good friends he truly cared for had been killed by titans in the midst of his primal conflict with Erwin Smith — the commander of the Scouting Legion— as he was drowned in his hatred and blinded by contempt and because of that he was too late to save them...

These people he loved the most left him wondrous memories but also the most painful ones, scarring him deep where no one but the people who left the large void in his heart could reach. These scars were permanent, they do not heal like the ones he gained in battles, reminding him that he will be the only one left behind when time comes — the humanity's strongest will undoubtedly the only one standing in this hell called world.

"Sir! Pardon the intrusions, but there will be a meeting in fifteen minutes with Commander Erwin," said a soft voice behind Levi's door from a young woman with shoulder length ginger shaded hair and bright amber eyes. Petra Ral was her name. She knocked knocked louder when she didn't hear a respond from her superior, "Sir?"

"I heard you the first time," grumbled lazily by the captain of the Survey Corps on the other end. Startled, Petra apologized and left wordlessly, Levi appeared in an unpleasant mood lately, always keeping a stern glare at anyone who made eye contact with him, and no matter how much she wanted to ask, she decided not to for the fear being shoved away from the subject.

He was aloof and intimidating, nonchalant and vulgar (toilet jokes aside). But Petra admired Levi despite all his flaws, she was handpicked for the Survey Corps by him after all, it wasn't a feeling out of debt but it was out of gratefulness that made her who she was. Her father would be very proud once she return home, there would hundreds of stories to tell him.

When the room was left in unbearable silence, Levi's thoughts came back to his nostalgic memories and dreams since there was nothing to distract him otherwise, it was too much for him to handle. _Screw the goddamn meeting_. He closed the crimson curtains, the daylight had burned his eyes, he was not looking forward too what the day had to offer.

He knew well himself that pondering over a dream and skipping some of his duties would do him no good but worsen the situation, but his dreams weren't trivial because not only that he'd get nightmares frequently but it always rendered him restless in the night.

He was afraid to see her last smile, he was afraid to close his eyes and see how hurtful and unacceptable her death was. It was like he was trapped in a theater with repeated scenes rolling endlessly.

There were just things that even the strongest man couldn't do, he wasn't invincible, he was no god nor deity to be invulnerable to pain. He was still human.

Sure he strategized and gambled his life on the line just to provide a stepping stone to help humanity but he couldn't possibly handle a ghost from his past, _she_ was someone he could no longer hold or communicate with, how would he face her then? No matter how hard he tried to remember, his shattered memories couldn't be brought back together into one piece, at least to give sense to him — he was still no where closer to the truth of his dreams. What did _she_ want? Was she angered when Levi expunge her from his thoughts? Did she haunt him for that? But she was the one who didn't bid a proper farewell, she was unfair!

Levi lost track of time and realized that the meeting with Erwin had probably started without him. He wasn't in condition to face anyone at the sprung of the moment, he might hurt someone else and he might say something he may regret later on.

Somehow, at the back of his mind he knew all along that he needed help... but would his comrades be willing to hear his troubles? They would, wouldn't they? They won't think he was weak because he succumbed to a nightmare, wouldn't they? He won't break down into sobs telling the sad tale of his past, wouldn't he? That he couldn't promise himself that he'd remain nonchalant in front of his squad. After all, he told no one else about her ever since _she _was gone, not even to Farlan and Isabel, it was as though as he was the only one who knew she existed.

But he could at least try reaching out to someone else one last time.

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><p><strong>Please leave a review if you want me to continue. <strong>

**Sorry it sucked.**


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